Want to sound like a smart investor? Then you will have to use smart investor words.
Let’s go through some of the smart words for your investing.
Diversify
You can also use diversification. A great word which conveys the idea of not putting too many eggs in one basket. When you use this word, it sounds like you have a few things going on, you know about different types of trading and that sort of thing. You can also use it as a nice euphemism for cheating on your partner in non investing circles.
Contrarian
Like a badge of honour amongst certain types of traders, it is the unique ability to see the world differently and therefore successfully see trends before they happen. Enjoy the irony of being amongst the most heavily populated type of trader whilst celebrating individuality.
Buffett
As in Warren, not Jimmy. Anytime you say something clever, attribute it as a “buffetism”. A certain type of crowd will love it, and the rest will at least not contradict you.
Market cap
Never use the term capitalization, it sounds too stodgy. It basically means the value of the company your are talking about. If you go with just the ultra casual “cap”, you’ll sound like the smartest person in the room.
Class A shares
These are the type of shares that everyone wants to have, but isn’t able to get. It gives you a type of exclusivity, a blue-blood kind of aura of old money. You might have to become a republican though, so be careful.
COGS
Really any acronym that you find on a profit and loss sheet (always say P&L) will do, but this is one that is quite likely to come up. Drop the acronyms with casual familiarity and go from there.
Hedge
That’s what you are doing, constantly. Against anything that is popular. Find something and discuss using it as a hedge against something else. You’re hedging gold against oil, gas against corn, the less link between them the better. If stuck, quote some weird Geo-political activity taken by Russia. Whatever you make up probably won’t be even close to as crazy as what the Russians are actually doing.
Any Index
Footsie, Hang seng, Nasdaq, whichever. Just learn how to pronounce it and where it is. Be warned that this is advanced level stuff. Not only do you need to know your index, but every weird index in every tiny micro, emerging economy. Still it’s a good way to reinforce that geography you learnt in 8th grade.
Micro economy
It means “small, irrelevant country that you didn’t know you rely on for all your coffee needs until you read about it when you clicked on an obscure link whilst you were supposed to be working”. They probably used slave labour until a few weeks ago or coconut phones or are on to their fifth President in seven months. In any case, it’s new, exciting and small, and something to say when hitting on cuties in line at starbucks.
Internet of things/ IOT
Could have gone with SAAS or disruptor technology, but that will sound like you are pitching something. It’s so new that no one really understands it, so just use the term without explaining it too much. Then you can complain about your personal technology peeve without sounding like the whiner that you are.
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